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Advent Intentions

Advent Intentions

Juli
Notebook featuring Advent Intentions, illustrated with holly and gift tags

In an effort to simplify my Christmas preparations, and provide more focus for the month of December on things I truly find valuable, I created a list of Advent Intentions in 2019. I kept them exactly the same in 2020, and it’s about time I share them.

If you’re not familiar with the word, “Advent” refers to the time of preparation for Christmas, traditionally the entire month of December.

Some of these goals and focuses are religious in nature, some are not. They’re not in any kind of priority order (in fact they’re not numbered or in a list at all; my planner sheet is kind of artsy and random.)

  1. Let the old go to let the new in.
    This is born of my general life philosophy of both physical and mental clutter. We let go of old clothing, toys, gadgets, etc in order to make physical space for new gifts we might receive. But we also might need to let go of some old mindsets or emotional baggage in order to make way for new memories, traditions, and goal-setting in the new year.
  2. Kids remember feelings, not flash.
    When I think back on my childhood Christmases, I don’t recall more than a handful of special gifts (and I have a remarkable memory!) I recall the traditions we did much more, and the general festive cozy feeling of my house at those times. If we can create comfort and family, the “stuff” is unecessary.
  3. People before stuff.
    In all decisions (not only at the holidays!) I have a goal to put people before stuff. If my management of possessions detracts from my quality time with my kids, then it’s time to let them go. If running about buying and wrapping gifts or trying to hang decor makes me have to say, “not now, Mom is busy” frequently, then it’s too much. If I can give of my time or possessions or money to make someone else’s year better, then I would much rather serve people than have more stuff for myself.
  4. If it’s stressful, it’s not worshipful.
    My main focus in this season is on Jesus. If something I’m striving to do is stressing me out, then it’s not serving the purpose of glorifying or worshiping that baby Savior.
  5. Classy and graceful.
    Perhaps that’s very personal and sort of vain. This goal has a little to do with my entertaining and my personal grooming. My philosophy of “looking presentable always” actually makes this easier, since I’m not really putting in extra effort just because it’s the holidays. But this has a bigger meaning for me in terms of conversations. At a time of year when (typically) I find myself at holiday parties with business acquaintances, extended family, and invited guests I’ve never met, I try to maintain a generally classy, graceful manner. Trying not to talk too much about myself, trying not to be judgmental or rude, trying to make everyone feel welcome are some ways I use this goal.
  6. Some people you have to use up the way they are.
    This was a quote from my late grandmother, from whom I learned much. She used to say this all the time when faced with someone who was rude to her, or with whom she didn’t see eye-to-eye. She said this to me if I ever complained about someone else’s personality or behavior. It helps me to remember when I’m facing many social interactions with people sometimes very different from myself. Can’t change relatives or work associates!

I keep these as the very first sheet in my planner in the Christmas section. Yes, I have a whole section. Because it’s a lot of organizing! But as I turn to that tab, I have no choice but to encounter this sheet first before I find recipes or gift lists or schedules or To Dos. Get my priorities fresh in mind before I tackle whatever holiday task I’m starting.

These could also be Hanukkah intentions, if that’s the holiday you celebrate. I’m sure they would work for other holidays, as well, but I’ve not experienced those!

If you’re interested in more Christmas simplifying, check out my recent video on 4 things I’m simplifying (more) this year!
https://youtu.be/TvreLPiTsQo

The Easy Win

Deb

So, here we are. 8 months into a world wide pandemic. Anyone else going crazy yet. I am balancing things this year that I never thought I would have to balance. I am stressed. I am struggling to find stress relief in a time when staying at home is the norm. I am looking for the easy win.

I was listening to a podcast the other day. (Beyond the To Do List with Eric Fischer) On the the host had a guest talking about time as money. It talked about how we could treat time like we treat money in our bank accounts. It wasn’t the topic that made me think, but something the guest said. She said that when we are stressed we can tend to say yes to things more easily because it feels like a win.

This made me think. I had been trying to find something to say yes to in my life because of the stress load I am carrying. I was looking for the easy win. When my state first locked down last spring, my life was pretty easy. I did my tasks for work. Helped my kids complete their school work. The house didn’t bother me as much because of the six people that were contained in it everyday. I was able to accomplish things and feel good about what I accomplished most days.

Fast forward to this fall when many of my responsibilities became heavier because of the times and the stress climbed. I feel like I work from dawn to dusk everyday to complete the tasks with little down time and still not everything gets done or there are always things that I could do better. I struggle to find time sometimes or even just find the activity that removes me from the stress and reenergizes me to keep moving the next day. I can’t seem to find relief from my workload either at home or at school.

Like most people I’ve struggled with mental health over the last few months and it looks to continue until things get back to any sense of normalcy. My body and mind crave a break from the craziness. They want to focus on something other than work, home, politics, or health. I spend time everyday thinking about how I need to move forward in this to keep my family safe but also keep my own sanity.

I don’t have any answers to how to destress in this crazy time. I’m just coming here to say something I don’t think enough people are saying which is: Life is hard right now It even downright sucks. The decisions we are making, the jobs we are doing aren’t what we planned for or expected to be doing in 2020. This doesn’t mean I want to wallow in this feeling of loss and deprivation, but it does mean I acknowledge that this is not what I planned or wanted.

I will not feel guilty for grieving for things in my life, even though there may be people who never had those things to grieve for. I will grieve the normalcy I miss. I will grieve the holidays I wanted to spend with family. I will grieve the moments my kids don’t get with extended family. At the same time, I will try my best to take care of myself and my family both physically and mentally. I will continue to turn to God both in prayer and in his Word for comfort and guidance in these crazy times. I will continue to treat those around me with kindness and understanding, knowing that everyone sees this situation differently. They see different solutions to the problems at hand. I will stop looking for the easy win, because there is no easy win. Life isn’t meant to be a cake walk.

Hopefully, I will come out on the other side of this trial stronger, but even if I don’t, I know that God is using me to shine as his light here on this earth for those who are lost in darkness and have a lot more to lose. I will learn to appreciate the time I have with my family and my students. I will learn that not everything needs to be done by me. I will learn that life isn’t about the next task to be completed. I will learn that God has given me so many blessings that I can’t help but thank him for the amazing life he has given me even though right now it may be hard. I will learn that there is no easy win, but that life is hard. I will learn there is joy to be found even in the moments where life seems unbelievably hard.

Quarantine Boredom Busters – for adults!

Juli

Social media is being inundated with ideas of how to occupy your children while they’re out of school/in quarantine this spring. But what about you? You might be juggling working from home and trying to help your kids with their distance learning, but in the event you have free time and can no longer socialize or go out on errands, what could you do?

Here are some ideas for beating quarantine boredom.

I’m an introvert – I’m essentially an expert on staying home and occupying myself!

Learn a language
Or brush up on the one you learned in high school. Many local libraries have free access to https://www.duolingo.com/ or other language learning websites/apps. Maybe you even still have your old workbooks gathering dust in the basement. Now’s the time! (Double down and teach it to your kids or spouse or pet, too.)

Declutter
If you’ve been meaning to get on this minimalism bandwagon (or you did so several years ago and the clutter has crept back in…. hahem…) now is a great time. Plus you’ll be sitting in your house looking at all this STUFF that makes you irritated – great time to get rid of it!
I have a dedicated “purge” closet where I toss anything I find on a given day that I want to declutter. It’s probably best in the event of a multi-week quarantine declutter to have a dedicated space. I guarantee you’ll find more than a tote full of stuff!

Little home improvement projects
Have painting you’ve been neglecting? New hardware to put up in the kitchen? A piece of trim that’s come loose? Outlet covers to replace?

Catch up on memory keeping
Whatever it is that you do – order printed photos online? Scrapbook? Baby books that are years past current (raises hand!)

Cook/bake
I think a lot of us secretly enjoy cooking or baking, but not in the “just got home from work and have to make dinner” kind of way. Take the opportunity to try fun recipes if you can find the ingredients. Or start some sourdough bread (takes hardly any ingredients!) Get creative with weird pantry items you find way in the back.

Work on that TBR list
What?! You don’t HAVE a TBR (too be read) list??? Time to get one, I guess.
I have a TBR shelf. Bookshelf. Two 6-foot-tall bookshelves. =)

Start your garden
Every year, we pledge to start our garden earlier. We never find the time until late May, so our veggies never really get a good start and never produce much. If you’re finding yourself at home for the majority of spring, order some seeds and get them started indoors! (You can garden in flowerpots if you’re an apartment dweller.)

Spring Cleaning
I know, I know, that doesn’t sound fun. But might as well pick one small thing a day and get it done. Baseboards one day? Dust ceiling fans one day? Scrub off kitchen cabinets, clean the inside of your washing machine, vacuum under the couch cushions… you get the idea. It should take 10-15 minutes to do one of those, and by the end of three weeks your house will be SO. CLEAN.

Any more adult boredom-busters to share? Leave a comment! We’re all in this together.

Unusual Sanity-Savers for Mom

Juli

I don’t do much in the “usual” fashion – mothering, or the rest of my life.

So “normal” moms might do things like spa days, girls’ nights, color-coding… that’s not my jam.  Here are some sanity-savers I use in my house that might be more eccentric.

tea and lavender - unusual sanity savers for moms

I don’t fold half the laundry.

Seriously, why?  Have you ever stopped to consider WHY you fold laundry?
Some things get wrinkly if they’re not folded – fine.  But my underwear?  My toddler’s socks?  The washcloths? None of that needs folding, truly, and it saves so much time not to!  I don’t fold my pants and shirts, either; I hang them up.

Afternoon coffee.

My 4-year-old is an early bird, and I am definitely NOT.  So a peaceful cup of morning coffee sans-kiddos is not ever going to happen in my life.
Instead, I take my big huge mug of coffee during nap time in the afternoon.  Then I can truly sit down and unwind without any crazy background antics going on.  For maximum effect, take with a healthy portion of chocolate.

Dum Dums

Yes, I dare to give my kids artificial colors and flavors and sugars, in the middle of 2018 parenting.  If I have an important errand to run, or something goes long, or it would be very inappropriate to deal with a meltdown (Good Friday church, for example) I hand my little boys Dum Dum suckers and say a little prayer for the health of their teeth.  It keeps them quiet for about ten minutes, so maybe I can use my brain to figure out something in a store, or can deal with a car repair, or can make a phone call.

Subscriptions

I can’t be bothered to remember things like razors and shaving cream so I use Dollar Shave Club.

I can’t remember diapers and wipes, either (nor can I fit them in a cart with three small children!) so I have them automatically shipped from Target and Amazon, respectively.  Also on my Amazon subscriptions are such gems as pee mats for the dog, dishwasher tabs, my tea, mascara, and M&Ms.  Not kidding.

There are subscription services for so many things these days – even clothing and shoes, if you find you don’t have time or desire to keep up with clothing yourself.  Whatever you can take off your plate for no or small additional cost, go for it!

Extremely Routine Meal Planning

I serve the same kind of food on the same day of the week, every week.

Sunday: Something using the fresh groceries (experiment new recipe night)
Monday: Rice, meat, veggie
Tuesday: Tacos (or nachos, quesadillas, etc)
Wednesday: Pasta
Thursday: Sandwiches or Breakfast for dinner
Friday: Pizza
Saturday: Pasta

Every. Single. Week.  Meal planning saves you from thinking about meals at 4 pm: my way saves me from thinking about meal planning.  I can vary things like meats and vegetables and sauces based on what was on sale at the grocery store, but the framework is there.  My kids enjoy it, too, since they always know what’s for dinner.

Extremely Routine Entertaining / Vacationing

I throw the same parties, over and over.  Every single 4th of July, I throw an identical party with the same food, same beverages, same lawn games.  Every Christmas gathering I throw is the same, every year.  Every kids’ first birthday party has the same food and cake, just decorated differently around a loose theme (but every theme is a children’s book, so still very similar!)

Every group vacation, I bring the same food and entertainment to contribute.  Every camping trip, we plan and eat the same food.  I even pack the same clothes for any vacation of similar temperature.

I even do identical activities every Advent with my family, every Hanukkah season, etc.  I make the same treats to share every holiday season.  Holiday traditions are secretly easy ways to have fun without thinking too hard.

These parties, vacations, etc are only planned once a year, so it’s not super repetitious or obvious that I’m doing the same thing as last year.  I keep permanent lists for packing and grocery shopping, permanent record of how many batches I need to bake, how many paper goods to have on hand, the whole nine yards.  When the event or trip is coming up, I whip out my lists and just do the same thing I did last time.

With all those tips, am I totally sane now?

Of course not.  I have four kids – I am obviously nuts.  But at least I can keep some of the crazies at bay, find a few minutes of me-time, and celebrate events without being completely berserk.  Worth it!

Anything unusual you do to keep your sanity?  Share!

 

Road Trip: Entertainment in the Car

Deb

Three kids in the back of your car. Going on hour 30 of 38 that you have been driving. How do you keep your sanity? In my family, I’m hoping they are all mid-nap, but rarely do all three of my kids sleep at the same time. We’ve found some ways to help keep the peace in the backseat while still maintaining our own sanity.

Toys

With the three days of travel, we end up stopping at fast food places along the way. Our kids, as most kids their age, are big fans of kid’s meals, and what comes with a kid’s meal but a toy.  Instead of taking these toys into our house after our trip, where they are discarded and soon lost, we put them in a bag that only comes out for long car rides. This solves two problems, one that I don’t want to buy new toys to entertain my kids on each long car ride and two the toys although old are still use so rarely that the kids are engaged with them longer than if I just brought toys they play with at home. Another positive to these toys is that rarely do they make noise and if they do they are usually very loud.

Screen Time

Electronics get suggested many times for car trips with kids. Even as adults something that holds your attention one day may be uninteresting and boring the next. To try to prevent this fatigue, we don’t allow our kids to have any electronics until at least the second day of travel. We have found that the toys and other things we bring do a good job of entertaining the kids for the first day and into the second. We try to limit their screen time at home in the week before we leave also. This gives them the idea that screen time is a treat and holds their attention longer when they actually get to use it.

Crayons, Coloring Books, Workbooks, etc.

My oldest is getting old enough where she can be entertained with reading in the car (though this may not last long, so far we have avoided motion sickness but signs are not good for her). She also likes to do simple worksheets from her summer education workbook. My middle child likes to color. One word of caution on coloring though is to make sure your child won’t color on your car interior, or you could have crayons or markers that only color on allowable surfaces.

Games

Many adults remember playing games with their families while riding in the car as young children. Some of our favorites with young children have been I Spy, counting games, and finding road signs. Some games I look forward to playing with my kids as they get older and more able to participate are the License Plate Game, Competitive Scavenger hunts, and Making list with certain criteria. If you want more information on any of these games see the post about Travel Games.

Packing the Car

It’s great to have all these activities for kids to do while driving in the car, but one last thing to think about while you plan your travels is how to pack your car. All of our kids are still required to ride in car seats and some of them in harnessed car seats. As most of you know this really limits their mobility especially if they drop something. We try to make everything accessible to them even with this limited mobility. Our oldest is a booster seat which makes it easier for her to move and get things that get dropped or hand things to her siblings but still there is only so much you can do from your seat in the car.

We try to keep two bags of stuff for our kids when travelling. One of the bags was mentioned before. It has the kid’s meal toys in it. The other bag has the drawing supplies and any books we bring on the trip. These two bags are usually placed on the seat between out two oldest children. They are easily able to reach the bags and have access to what they want as we go along. We try to refill the bags every time we stop, because toys still get dropped or end up out of reach. The same goes with the I-pad. We only allow them to use it after a stop so we can set up the movie or game for them to do. Our youngest is usually good with just one or two toys that she is able to keep in her car seat.

I hope this has given you some ideas of how to entertain your child in the car on those long summer road trips. Do you have any tried and true tips or tricks for traveling in the car with your little ones. Let us know in the comments below.

 

Road trips: Driving Overnight

Deb

Wisconsin to California. This is our yearly vacation plan. My in-laws live in  California and with that comes some interesting discussions in my family. We have flown, driven without stopping for the night, and taken three days with some rather small children to make this trip. This past summer was no different. Starting in January we began to make plans for our trip. My husband only gets two weeks of vacation, so getting to and from California as quickly and safely as possible is always the goal. Flying is really too expensive now with five of us, so driving is where we started planning. We realized that it would be faster to leave on a Sunday afternoon then to wait for Monday morning and so the plan was hatched to drive through the night on Sunday. We survived but we did learn some things along the way.

Stop to Sleep

Now this may not sound like the way to drive thru the night. We found as we traveled deeper into the night that it got harder and harder to stay awake, which I mean makes sense. As this happened more and more we decided to pull over for an hour or so to try to take a nap as best we could. We found a well lit parking lot and tried to get some sleep. This was the best thing we could have done. When we pulled out of the parking lot an hour and a half later, we felt rested and much more ready to tackle a few more miles on the road. If your planning a trip that has you driving through the night, give yourself a break. Allow yourself the freedom to take a catnap along the way.

Crunchy Snacks/Caffeinated Beverages

Once the sun goes down and your driving in the dark, having something for your mouth to do can help you stay awake. We had made our own trail mix and pretzel mix before we left. We enjoyed these snacks throughout the night. We also bought Monster energy drinks and had some caffeinated soda in our travel mugs from the last gas station. Plan snacks that maybe aren’t something you would get normally so it is a special treat.  It makes the trip have a little bit of fun, while having a duel purpose of helping you stay awake.

Pillows/Blankets

Not for the driver, but for the passengers. We had three young children in the back of our vehicle. we wanted them to sleep through the night as much as possible. Because of this yearly trip our kids get a child sized neck pillow on their first birthday. We also took along car sized blankets for them to cover up with. Not only do these work as comfort items and to help with keeping the kids warm. It helps to give a routine to set a sleep time. On the last stop before we wanted them actually go to sleep for awhile we actually sort of tuck them into their car seats for the night.

Be Ready for Anything

Be flexible. Realize that this may not work the way you wanted it to. During this 30 hour driving marathon we actually ended up getting a flat tire pretty much in the middle of no where. The kids ended up eating breakfast on the side of the road while my husband and I (mostly my husband) changed the tire so we could continue on our journey.

What are some ways you have made travelling with kids bearable? have you found any secrets that have made different parts of your trip more enjoyable or things you may never try again? Leave a comment below.

Why I Love Labor Day

Deb

Many people think of Labor Day as the end of summer, but for those of us who thrive on schedules and routine it marks the end of a time when routine and schedules are not as easy to follow. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy summer vacation. But I can handle only so much of it, before I am begging for school to start again. Even as a teacher I feel this way. I can’t wait for school to start. It brings back the routine I need to find some sanity in my life. With the start of school comes Labor Day weekend, which has it’s own benefits for helping ease the transition of back to school.

The Long Weekend

This year my daughter and I had school for three days before we hit the three day weekend. It got my family back into the routine and my students at school through those first few days of organization and procedure teaching. We were rewarded with a long weekend. Although my family is usually quite busy over the weekends, we had one extra day during which we were able to do a family activity together.

Chaos of Summer Ends

No longer am I running around trying to fit in visiting with family, doing fun things with my kids, and still trying to find time to work, but I can know have a schedule that simplifies my life. Yeah, my kids go to bed ridiculously early, but they have activities planned each day whether that be school or daycare. I know what needs to happen when in order for my day and theirs to be successful.

A Break from the Schedule

Getting back into the school routine is hard, even for people who thrive off of living on a schedule. For my family and I getting those few days to make the schedule work and then having days where we don’t need to live on such tight schedule really helps everyone reset and be ready to go back to the schedule on Tuesday. It gives us a chance to reevaluate and make changes to our schedule so hopefully everything can run more efficiently.

Relaxing, Family Time

My family doesn’t always get to relax around the holidays. Our holidays are rather busy with my husband working most of them. This is one holiday where he doesn’t work and we are able to enjoy time as a family. This year is was as simple as being able to go on a picnic. Yes, it was slightly chilly, but it was something that got us away from our house and let us focus on ourselves and our kids.

Do you enjoy the Labor Day weekend? Do you have any traditions that you do on Labor Day weekend? Is the end of summer awaited eagerly at your house? Let us know in the comments below.

World Breastfeeding Week: My Nursing Journey

Juli

When I first became a mother, I had no idea I would be so passionate about breastfeeding.  I intended to do it, personally, but didn’t think much more about it until after I was in the thick of nursing my first baby…

World Breastfeeding Week My Nursing Journey

Pregnant with my first baby, I had every intention of breastfeeding.  It seemed obvious, natural, convenient, and inexpensive.

It turned out to be none of those!

Let me be frank – breastfeeding my first baby was the hardest thing I’ve ever undertaken as a mother.

On Day 2 of life, he was a very sleepy little man.  I didn’t know any better, and let him sleep instead of waking him to feed.

By Day 5 of life, he wasn’t gaining and my milk hadn’t come in.

By Day 14 of life, nurses were using the term “Failure to Thrive.” Still wasn’t gaining.  Still not a good milk supply.  I started pumping, and taking herbs, and drinking dark beer, and overhydrating, and pumping and pumping and pumping.

Day 16: Nipple shields, and a SNS (Supplemental Nursing System – essentially a tube supplying formula at the breast.)

Day 18: Supplementing with formula

Day 20: Nipple confusion.  Refusing the breast unless half asleep.  Commence exclusive pumping.

After exclusively pumping (but baby still needing half his intake in formula) I finally got him back on the breast at four months.

I was also working full time as a teacher in a small school.  I had no legally mandated breaks.  I power pumped every night (for hours!!!) and never did have a good supply.

But we soldiered on.  Finally, for my sanity, we switched to all formula during the day and I put away my pump.  I nursed in the wee hours of the morning and as he fell asleep at night, and treasured my ability to do at least that.  We kept it up until two weeks shy of his first birthday, when he suddenly and completely weaned himself.

 

So, it isn’t necessarily easy, or natural, or convenient.  What an eye opener!

 

When I had my second baby, I made some changes.  Most dramatically, I put my teaching career on hold and became a full-time, professional mother.

Secondly, also extremely importantly, I had a wonderful midwife and birth center during my pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum.  She guided me in exactly the natural methods I was hoping for, and encouraged my nursing in a much less clinical fashion.

I undertook the theory that I would nurse no matter what.  Any time this baby fussed, I let him nurse.  I ignored the clock completely, and offered the breast any time he cried or rooted, even if he had just stopped nursing five minutes before.

We nursed round the clock.  I didn’t sleep train, I didn’t offer a bottle.  Ever. (As it turns out, it’s not all roses – he never did take a bottle, ever, and he was up constantly until almost a year.  Exhausting!)

But we succeeded.  By his two week checkup, he had not only regained his birth weight (the goal), he had GAINED a POUND AND A HALF.  What?!  He was almost 20 pounds by six months.  A hulking, happy baby.  Suddenly, nursing was convenient and easy and natural and wonderful.

 

I’ve had a complicated journey.  I’ve experience personal failure, and success.  I had a skinny baby who had a hard time nursing, and a fat baby who was obsessed with nursing.  I have nothing but empathy for anyone trying to feed their baby in any way.  Through it all, I’ve enjoyed public nursing (yes, enjoyed!) sometimes covered and sometimes not.  I have an arsenal of wonderful breastfeeding memories that I will share in another post.  I’m invested in helping other mommas be successful in nursing, if that’s their desire, and hope someday that our culture can get fully behind normalized breastfeeding.

But not every pro-breastfeeding hippie crunchy momma has had a sunshine-and-rainbows experience!  It’s a rollercoaster sometimes, but I wouldn’t trade any of those precious nutritional snuggles despite the struggles.

Share your journey below, or link to your own story!  I love to hear from other nursing mommas!

YouTube Giveaway! ft. Eventide Creations Wi

Juli

Hey blog readers!

I just wanted to pass along a giveaway opportunity that is going on my YouTube channel!

A fellow momma makes some wonderful embossed coffee mugs, and I’m giving one away on my channel to celebrate our 50 subscribers!  (Which is actually now 65 subscribers…)

!!! I HAVE EXTENDED THE LENGTH OF THE GIVEAWAY FOR AN ADDITIONAL WEEK!  NOW ENDING SUNDAY, 6/18/17!!!

http://https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQ0-MJ-4Zs4

Best of luck!

March Favorites

Juli

Happy Friday!  My five March favorites:

Style: John’s Crazy Socks!

Beauty: Tony Moly sheet masks

Kids: Activity books

Random #1: Our Q&A: 3 Year Journal for 2 People

Random #2: Locally sourced coffee

 

*This post contains affiliate links.  That doesn’t impact your online shopping or prices.  If you choose to purchase the items linked, I may receive a small affiliate commission from Amazon.  (Literally something like 5 cents.)