I don’t do much in the “usual” fashion – mothering, or the rest of my life.
So “normal” moms might do things like spa days, girls’ nights, color-coding… that’s not my jam. Here are some sanity-savers I use in my house that might be more eccentric.
I don’t fold half the laundry.
Seriously, why? Have you ever stopped to consider WHY you fold laundry?
Some things get wrinkly if they’re not folded – fine. But my underwear? My toddler’s socks? The washcloths? None of that needs folding, truly, and it saves so much time not to! I don’t fold my pants and shirts, either; I hang them up.
Afternoon coffee.
My 4-year-old is an early bird, and I am definitely NOT. So a peaceful cup of morning coffee sans-kiddos is not ever going to happen in my life.
Instead, I take my big huge mug of coffee during nap time in the afternoon. Then I can truly sit down and unwind without any crazy background antics going on. For maximum effect, take with a healthy portion of chocolate.
Dum Dums
Yes, I dare to give my kids artificial colors and flavors and sugars, in the middle of 2018 parenting. If I have an important errand to run, or something goes long, or it would be very inappropriate to deal with a meltdown (Good Friday church, for example) I hand my little boys Dum Dum suckers and say a little prayer for the health of their teeth. It keeps them quiet for about ten minutes, so maybe I can use my brain to figure out something in a store, or can deal with a car repair, or can make a phone call.
Subscriptions
I can’t be bothered to remember things like razors and shaving cream so I use Dollar Shave Club.
I can’t remember diapers and wipes, either (nor can I fit them in a cart with three small children!) so I have them automatically shipped from Target and Amazon, respectively. Also on my Amazon subscriptions are such gems as pee mats for the dog, dishwasher tabs, my tea, mascara, and M&Ms. Not kidding.
There are subscription services for so many things these days – even clothing and shoes, if you find you don’t have time or desire to keep up with clothing yourself. Whatever you can take off your plate for no or small additional cost, go for it!
Extremely Routine Meal Planning
I serve the same kind of food on the same day of the week, every week.
Sunday: Something using the fresh groceries (experiment new recipe night)
Monday: Rice, meat, veggie
Tuesday: Tacos (or nachos, quesadillas, etc)
Wednesday: Pasta
Thursday: Sandwiches or Breakfast for dinner
Friday: Pizza
Saturday: Pasta
Every. Single. Week. Meal planning saves you from thinking about meals at 4 pm: my way saves me from thinking about meal planning. I can vary things like meats and vegetables and sauces based on what was on sale at the grocery store, but the framework is there. My kids enjoy it, too, since they always know what’s for dinner.
Extremely Routine Entertaining / Vacationing
I throw the same parties, over and over. Every single 4th of July, I throw an identical party with the same food, same beverages, same lawn games. Every Christmas gathering I throw is the same, every year. Every kids’ first birthday party has the same food and cake, just decorated differently around a loose theme (but every theme is a children’s book, so still very similar!)
Every group vacation, I bring the same food and entertainment to contribute. Every camping trip, we plan and eat the same food. I even pack the same clothes for any vacation of similar temperature.
I even do identical activities every Advent with my family, every Hanukkah season, etc. I make the same treats to share every holiday season. Holiday traditions are secretly easy ways to have fun without thinking too hard.
These parties, vacations, etc are only planned once a year, so it’s not super repetitious or obvious that I’m doing the same thing as last year. I keep permanent lists for packing and grocery shopping, permanent record of how many batches I need to bake, how many paper goods to have on hand, the whole nine yards. When the event or trip is coming up, I whip out my lists and just do the same thing I did last time.
With all those tips, am I totally sane now?
Of course not. I have four kids – I am obviously nuts. But at least I can keep some of the crazies at bay, find a few minutes of me-time, and celebrate events without being completely berserk. Worth it!
Anything unusual you do to keep your sanity? Share!
Instead of enjoying your soft pillows at 9:30, you lie awake until midnight thinking about things like taking bread of out the freezer for tomorrow, whether your toddler’s room is warm enough, if your husband’s alarm clock is set properly, how your ill friend is feeling, what errands you need to run tomorrow, the new parenting theory you are planning to try.
There is walking the dog and/or running errands. Which sounds easy, but actually requires pushing a stroller/cart (maybe a double or triple) with somewhere between 20 and 80 pounds of child in it, and holding back an overly-enthusiastic pooch who wants to follow every pedestrian home.
Then the wrestling of a kicking screaming toddler to a timeout, or a bathroom, or an unwanted nap. The holding and pacing and singing with the ever-growing baby, which may take up to an hour before he falls asleep.
You are a human jungle gym. A toddler falling down will use a tiny portion of your arm or leg skin as a handle. A baby wanting a kiss will slam his forehead into your teeth. Someone learning about body parts will jam a jagged fingernail into your eye, nose, ear, or belly button.
You can bet your child will only sleep held in that position, some days, or will only nurse in certain ways that leave you with neck cricks and sleeping legs. There might also be pumping, which is just as (if not more) uncomfortable, but without the perk of baby snuggles. And if your baby happens to sleep extra long, you don’t! You set yourself an alarm and get up to pump. Or risk mastitis. Y’know.
